erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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