if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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