One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
