If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
