sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize