Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
he fucked my hip out of place.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
