youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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