I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
