i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Randomize