remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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