she woke up with a sticky ear
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
