Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
