we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Randomize