So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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