he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
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