Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize