If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
