Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Randomize
