Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
