we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
