I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
40s are totally the cure
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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