haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
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