i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Randomize
