A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
