your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
this will be a night to untag.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
