so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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