does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Randomize
