I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize