I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
