Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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