Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
