i don't like sucking hair
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
