He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
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