getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Randomize
