How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Randomize
