I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
high people should be assigned attendants
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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