i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize