i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Randomize
