But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize