It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
