Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Randomize
