The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
