It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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