This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
