He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
