Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
