Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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