I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
