If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
