Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
