I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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