I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
