College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
