If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
