I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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