i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
